5  The Matrix Revolutions and The Matrix Reloadedmatrix

The titles of these two sequels to The Matrix sound like they were made up at the last minute, have nothing to do with the films and are incredibly ambiguous terms. This laziness permeates the entirety of the final two films of this trilogy. The first film was great: it left you wanting more after watching it. It was intellectually and aesthetically stimulating. Writer Sophia Stewart’s allegations that The Matrix plagiarised her writing went viral upon the release of the movies and although no court has ruled in her favour, the atrocious production of the sequels leaves a gaping suspicion that she may have a case. 

4  Highlander II: The Quickeninghigh

I never even saw the sequel because I don’t hate myself enough to go through with watching it.  The original was not open-ended at all and left nothing else to be desired. They should have taken heed of their own advice: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!

 

 

3  From Justin to Kellykelly

Never heard of this movie? Be thankful! Not so much a sequel as a spin-off and scheme to make even more money from the TV show American Idol, this film is a musical starring the winner and runner-up of the first season. If you ever needed to restore your faith in humanity, just remember that amid the marketing and commercialisation put forth behind this garbage of a film, the general goodwill of people everywhere prevailed. Now if only the same could be said of all the One Direction and Justin Bieber movies.

 

 

 

2  (Don’t make) Ghostbusters 3ghost

There is an inherent risk of making any sequel: that it will sully the integrity of the original films. Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2 were so good that such a risk has delayed, and at this point possibly eliminated the possibility, of a Ghostbusters 3, which is a shame. Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and Harold Ramis certainly had the talent to make another great film for the franchise, but their personal relationships dwindled too much to make the collaboration viable again. Rumors of a third film have been exchanged since the second film was completed, despite Murray publicly expressing his disdain for the idea and his refusal to participate. If the stars aligned and made it happen, it surely would have been another classic, but unfortunately we are only to be blessed with two Ghostbusters movies. And at this point in time, a third film being made after such a hiatus would be a disaster.

1  Every Nicolas Cage movie

Nic-Cage

They’re all the same and they are all amazingly awful. His hair and his acting just get more ridiculous with age. His viral persona is more popular and much more beloved than his acting: type in his name on YouTube and clear your schedule for the rest of the day. His onscreen presence is so awful, it’s genius. When a studio invests too much money into a movie and it winds up failing during filming or getting screwed up to the point where it would be a waste of money to fix it, they cut their losses and call in Nicolas Cage. His career runs on salvaging production blunders and turning them into Cage gold. Every movie he makes is a sequel in the series of a psychotic filmography that is going stronger than ever; he has, according to IMDB, three films in post-production phase, one filming and three more announced. Help us.

Michael Sainato