The best pick-up line ever is: “Hi. What’s your name?”  But most haven’t figured that out yet.

pickup

The pick-up line has become something of an outdated concept, both in theory and in practice. In the new technologically-enhanced world of dating, strutting up to somebody at a bar with a good opener is rare, but it does happen. What occurs even more frequently is strutting up to somebody at a bar with a bad opener. Let’s face it – the best pick-up line ever is “Hi. What’s your name?”  But most haven’t yet gotten round to understanding the beauty in the simplicity of picking somebody up.

Here are the ten worst pick-up lines you’ll ever hear:

10  Are you a model?

Whether they are or not, is it really relevant? All this does is let the object of your desire know you’re a shallow dweeb who’s only interested in them for their looks.

9  Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 

This one is the cheesiest, and perhaps the most common of the worst pick-up lines ever. It’s slick. Too slick.

8  Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 

Yeah, uh, keep walking.

7  If a fat man puts you in a bag later tonight, don’t worry – I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. 

Okay, so this one’s kind of funny.  But still – wildly inappropriate.  Now I’m just thinking about being kidnapped by an old guy with a weight problem.

6  Do I know you?  Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Oh, great, you’ve already decided for me. Guess I’ve gotta date you now. A line like this robs the pursued of any agency whatsoever.

5  Something’s wrong with my cell phone.Your number’s not in it. 

And it probably never will be.

4  Is your dad in jail?  Cause if I were your dad, I’d be in jail. 

So this was actually used on me the other day. A brilliant poo-poo platter of incest and inappropriateness. Congratulations, you’ve just managed to completely disgust me, I’m definitely going home with you now.

3  Did the sun just come up or did you just smile at me? 

Way too rehearsed. Way too rehearsed.

2  You are so selfish.  You have your body for the rest of your life.  I just want it for one night.

*Vomit* Just what every girl wants to hear.

1  Can I have a quarter?  I want to call your mom and thank her. 

Maria Loren